[DAY 3 SINCE ARRIVING AT VALHALLA] :sigh: Leftovers again?

Reminder: the city has asked residents not to drip their faucets, to help maintain proper water pressure on my bidet

People aren’t talking enough about what they do with all the sleeves they cut off to make fleece vests. Where do they go? Why can’t you buy them? What is Big Fleece hiding??

Chaos may be a ladder, but ladders can lead down as well as up. They can also be lashed together and used as bridges across icy crevasses. You can fall off them and die before anyone even notices. Your irretrievable corpse will then be a part of the mountain for the rest of time. That's a bad use of a ladder. Do not use the chaos ladder in that way

Remember, a DM is not private. Just as on Twitter, your Mastodon server admin can read your Dungeon Masters

Woke up with this important thought in mind: when you finagle a fumble of a fob dongle, it’s a Fobongleumblagle.

Don’t just fax it, SHADOWFAX IT! With new ShadowFax(tm) Fax-By-Horse technology. All the quality of a fax, with the solemn majesty of a horse!

Yes, it truly is… the Lord of the Faxes!

From GandalfCo

You know, we wouldn’t need these stupid sinuses if we didn’t have such big, stupid head bones. I’m beginning to think cephalopods have the right idea w.r.t. bones

Hey ${FOLLOWER}, just following up on my last toot to see if you’d had a chance to review my last toot.

I totally sent you a toot. This isn’t at all a salesforce template pretending I sent you a toot I never sent. But just in case, here’s my last toot again. Let me know!

From: Salesforce spambot To: Whomever

Hey, ${FOLLOWER}, hope you’re having a great day. I was looking at your website about toots, and I wondered whether you’d be interested in toots? When would be a good time to talk about toots? Let me know!

As sinister as an elevator that arrives unsummoned and opens, empty, just as you approach

Me: [edits a file saved on OneDrive]

Microsoft Word: "Word cannot save or create this file. Make sure that the disk you want to save the file on is not full, write-protected, or damaged."

Me: Hello, Microsoft? Can you please run Norton Disk Doctor on your … uh, the cloud?

Your hipster food hall stall name is your favorite municipal service, your least-used kitchen gadget (plural), an ampersand, and then the word "tap"

Mine: Houston Water Zesters & Tap

Anheuser-Busch is its own district as far as the City of Houston water system is concerned.

So much for drinking beer to save water

Two kids go to Tomorrowland.

One is inspired to grow up to sell rockets and cars, and makes billions.

The other is inspired to grow up to sell concessions and merchandise to captive audiences, and makes billions.

I don't have a point here. Both are assholes

Sure I slack off a little during work hours. But I also cleared half a dozen tickets, from my phone, while sitting on the toilet, first thing out of bed.

I’ve done more before breakfast than even -I- do all day.

Some mind blowing knowledge being dropped in today’s toots