We have all these new video conferencing systems and not a single one that can finish a call and then put a big “END TRANSMISSION” on the screen with some kind of friendly but subtly ominous logo

John Burwell aka deet shared 9 hours ago

When I was first listening to Pink Floyd, when I was younger, I misheard the line in Money as “new car, copier, four star daydream…” and was like, yeah if I was rich I’d get a copier too

I wonder if there are any cool new computer programs I can load

So far, the Internet has turned out to be an incredibly advanced and complex yet efficient machine for such a simple task as converting money into bullshit

That scene in Succession where they throw all the expensive uneaten seafood straight into the trash, except it's Apple's WWDC team and Vision Pro sessions… and instead of Logan going "Pizza! We'll have Pizza!" it's Tim going "AI! we'll have AI!"

One Night Only! GOVERNMENT SUBSIDY and the HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SALTS

All right! Who's ready for … whoaaoaoaoaoa!!! (comically slips and falls in puddle of gravy)

… gravy?

END SCENE

I rise as she sleeps

In the gray dawn, silent

But for the cracking of my bones

Get in the car we’re going felonying

It is best not to engage with scammers or any other type of person

Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!

Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!

Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered,

a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!

Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gravy!

No place On Earth Isn’t known

You will never Not be seen

Hey! … you uh, wanna hang out? Watch the new Angry Birds? Drink some gravy and stuff?

Pro tip: when you make popcorn, make enough extra for the dogs

More gravy for you

Gravy stores are really just warming centers for emotions

The new standard etiquette among Houstonians is to begin a conversation with “first of all, are you and your family okay? Do you have power and water? Need anything?”

Looking forward to the next installment in the kids’ book series, “I Survived: A Random Thursday Night in Houston”

On behalf of all Ravenclaws, learn the damn wizarding art of kerning

I’m starting to roux the gravy thing