Cutesy web apps being all like "Hey there!" with the "wave" emoji or the "hugs" emoji, seriously make me want to stiff-arm a hippie kid trying to shove a pamphlet at me on a busy sidewalk in a college town. Fuck that. Bring me the hocking drink specials after hours downtown vibe. Bring me the catcalls from hookers on the Vegas strip vibe. If you want me signing up for a free trial of your SaaS-ass shitty web app, then goddammit quit pretending we're being polite. Get right down to it already. Let's get drunk and horny before you go for my wallet and personally-identifiable information